Maybe it's more than the number of fish in the sea?

So, I have not blogged for a while. We have made a move back to the Pacific Northwest. We lost our beloved Jackie boy, the best doggie in the whole world last week. I am bartending and about to start substitute teaching. Keenan just started school at a community college, and I'm trying dating again. It has not gone super well. My divorce was finalized in March. I'm processing that. That will be in further posts, maybe? I know I'm not the total prized pig, although I like to think of myself as a Wilbur. I do have a lot of Charlottes out there leaving nice messages on social media webs for people to see. Buuut I have cast a large net of ages of men to talk to and try to get to know. Occasionally, I have had some interesting conversations that are mostly ghosted after that. Usually, the conversations start highly sexualized and people just want to meet to hook up. rarely have I been asked on a real date. I was asked to play Mario Kart one time and that would be fun for a 4th date but if I don't know you, I'm not coming to your house. That is just plain crazy and unsafe. It has been a while since I've been in the real dating pool but I feel like men have lost the art of wooing women and also just lacking social skills in general. Maybe it's just me, but I like to know what music and books and stuff you like before you send me pics of you in heels and fishnets. Not dissing that, you do you boo but I like conversation. what do you stand for? who are you as a person? your sexuality is something I can get to know as we get to know one another. aaaand a large percentage of men that I've talked to cannot wait to show me their penises. I mean is it my profile? Is it something about me that screams, " I would love to see your penis?" i really don't in the first 10 mins of talking. Plus, I feel like my profile comes off pretty tame. While I'm on the subject of profiles, Social media are not dating sites, yes Facebook has a section for that but Instagram, tik tok, Linkedin and threads ARE NOT not dating sites. They are for showcasing what you do and connecting with friends. I hate when people message me on these sites. It's cringe and it makes me feel like I can't just post what I want for my friends. It's like when you are at a bar and someone just won't leave you alone but I'm not at a bar, I'm in my own home and people are sliding into my DMs and then getting angry when I say I'm not interested, and not looking to be in a relationship with them when it's not even a dating site. someone physically threatened me and my family on tik tok once. also, the crypto fakes on dating sites are stupid too. I mean maybe I haven't learned the lesson? Maybe I'm just choosing all the fuckboys instead of the people that I really keep saying I want to meet? I think I'm a work in progress. A while ago I would have thought I had to go along with the fuck boy rhetoric because someone was paying attention to me and attention good or bad is attention. I am demanding respect and kindness now. That's a good thing. I'm not in a hurry. I am impatient because that's just who I am. lol! I'm not gonna do what you want just because you think I should. I am waiting for the right person. the right situation. I am working to get my life together. I am still raising my autistic son. I am healing from divorce and losing my best doggy friend Jax. I just want people in my life who bring and add goodness into our lives. I bring a lot to the table. My ex always made me feel like I've not done enough in my life. I didn't work enough. I didn't make enough money. I didn't keep the household the way he wanted, there is a lot more but I don't want to take too much space with that. it's my past but my past is still healing and trying to figure out my own worth. I'm trying to feel good enough in my own life and I want to feel like I'm more than just drive through mcdonalds dating hookups.. and that's my two cents for today.